Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
