right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize