FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
