May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
