First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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