He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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