Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
