Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
