I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
