Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
