So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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