Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just found a bag of teeth...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
