are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
