I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
