I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
