He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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