Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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