Banned from zoo.
Again?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
