The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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