whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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