are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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