Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
