Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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