remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
