he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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