walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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