My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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