I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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