kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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