Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
