Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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