Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
