What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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