just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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