Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
