Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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