ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
