the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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