Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Found the puke drawer
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
