He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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