I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
