yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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