Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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