I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
