She's JV to your varsity
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
