12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
