You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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