It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
