turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
