Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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