I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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