So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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