I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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