my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
