That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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