youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
