Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
