Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
