sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
