do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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