Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
