Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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