i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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