His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
