Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
